(That post is the first part of the short series “10 Habits That Ruin Your Elegance”. The second post is available here!♡)
Recently, we talked about 8 things that are not worth your time & energy. If you have read that post, you may find some similarities between the things I mentioned then and the ones I mention today. We may indeed draw a parallel between things that are bad for you and things that ruin your elegance. You probably know by now that I truly believe elegance to come from behavior and thus, I will only cover things that have to do with behavior today. If you would like more information about actual physical steps you can take toward a more elegant lifestyle, you may find what you want here. I hope you are ready, let’s get started!
We talked about complaining in that post, so I will try not to say exactly the same things about that bad habit today. Complaining is not only bad for you as a person (complaining gives bad signals to your brain and you easily start seeing everything in a negative way) but it also makes you appear quite ill-bred. If you complain in front of someone who shows good manners, that person is likely to think that you lack these same good manners yourself. An elegant lady knows that complaining makes her appear envious and negative, and thus, she knows how not to engage in that behavior. Learn to notice it when you complain, and learn to control yourself and stop doing that both to yourself, and to others. Self-control is elegant, you can believe me.
Biting your nails.
That one is a habit linked to your behavior that has an impact on your body as well. Not only does biting your nails in public point at a lack of self-confidence (which is not elegant at all), but it is also a bad habit people can notice only by looking at your hands. Thus, even if you engage in that bad habit at home only, people can see that you do simply by looking at you in public. Your hands are such a feminine and elegant part of your body as they are commonly seen as the part of you that is linked to art and homemaking. Thus, having clean hands is a way to show respect to yourself, and is extremely elegant. You do not need to put nail polish on them, just stop biting your nails, hydrate your hands at that will be perfect. Remember: biting your nails shows a lack of confidence, and ruins a part of your body that is directly linked to femininity & elegance. Make sure you take care of your hands, Ladies.
Elegance lies in the smile of a woman. We just saw that biting your nails shows a lack of self-confidence, but smiling, on the contrary, shows that you are self-confident. A confident woman is almost automatically elegant.
Moreover, a woman who smiles radiates positivity and thus, she attracts people to her. Elegance is about making people feel great around you, and if you smile, they will definitely feel better. Thus, smile more if you want to be more elegant.
I do not think it is such a big deal outside of France but where I live, smoking has become part of the culture. I think it is such a terrible thing for obvious health reasons, but also because it is just so unelegant. Smoking is almost trendy as you have probably seen on pictures. We often see Parisian women smoking and the cigarette has become as much of a Parisian cliche as the beret or the baguette. You may find that it is “cool” when you see these pictures, but what you can’t see is the smell that comes with it and the terrible effects it has on your skin and teeth. Moreover, I find that smoking tends to ruin femininity as it has always been associated with men in the past. Altogether, if you do not smoke, just do not start because being “trendy” or “looking so Parisian” is not worth it. Invest in a great beret instead.
You may also like: How to dress the French way.
Being on your phone all the time.
I understand that in situations in which you feel uncomfortable such as being at a party you know nobody at, it can be very tempting to be on your phone. However, people are never going to approach you if you are on your phone, simply because that will think you are busy (that is the image you are giving them: you may be sending an important email &c.).
When you are on your phone, you are not “open” to other people and an elegant lady is always ready to help or have a deep conversation with someone. Being on your phone at a party, even though it has almost become the new “normal”, is disrespectful and you just do not want to be associated with that habit.
I hope these habits have helped you see that elegance is more easily ruined by bad behavior than by a cheap outfit. You can wear the poorest outfit, if you are well-bred and make sure you do not engage in these habits, chances are you will be more elegant that 90% of the population. We are part of a generation that starts losing the art of good-manners, but we do not have to lose that art ourselves. What if we decided to protect it?