A few weeks ago, I almost lost my life in a car accident, getting hit by a huge truck on the driver’s side. Not to sound dramatic, but I am miraculously alive today, and capable of writing these words. A few ribs have been hit, and my lung has suffered considerably, but still: I am alive. For me, this is enough of a miracle, and I am forever grateful for this fact. I have spent several days in the hospital, and there are a few early thoughts I would like to share with the world so that they may, hopefully, resonate with some of my readers. Let’s go?
If you feel something is wrong, it is
I knew driving this car was a bad idea. I had asked not to drive it, but it was a professional request and at the time, I was not fully aware that I could just say “no” for my own safety. This lesson I learned. I am now sure that if there is something you do not feel like doing, you need to listen to your inner voice. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to test your limits or push further and further until you improve. Sometimes, you have to stay exactly where you are and meditate on your feelings. Listen to them. To yourself. I will never see the notion of “slow living” in the same way any more. For me, this was mostly an aesthetic choice. Today, I see slow living as the art it is, a way to be present and trust your thoughts and feelings. Because the truth is that no matter your belief system, sometimes the voice you hear and feel has to be trusted fully, even though it does not quite make sense.
Human experience depends on perspective, not on circumstances
I never used to see life as the gift it really is. I knew it was something precious, but thought I had time to enjoy it and, somehow, a responsibility to deserve it. This is not true; I have been saved, and this is what matters. There was a living experience before the accident, and there is another one after the accident – life will never be the same. Not because life has changed, but because I have changed. And this shows how much of our human experience is dependent not on our circumstances, but on our perspective.
Priorities are just elected, and time is worth more than money
Let me tell you that alongside what I have just explained, priorities are just elected. Before an accident like this, you see your life as a bucket list or, even worse, a to do list. After an accident, you may go through several phases, of which I am not yet totally free. But one thing is for sure: your priorities change because, in fact, they are just elected. What matters most to you is a chosen experience as well. Money, success, recognition, or whatever it is that you used to seek, does not truly matter any more. It evolves into enough money to enjoy life, enough success to feel fulfilled, and enough recognition to feel that you are part of a greater community. The unhealthy attachment to these things has to change, because just for themselves, they do not taste as exciting any more. You crave connection, a feeling a fulfillment, and plenty of time more than money.
Personal life matters more than professional life
No matter how much you love your job, and heaven knows I love both my fairly new job and the act of working, this is just a job. In the past, I used to feel angry at anybody saying such a thing, especially when I was a chief of staff and had a wide range of responsibilities at work. However, I realise now these persons were so, so, so right. Your job is a means to an end, and possibly (hopefully!) something you appreciate doing. However, it is a section of your existence, and in no way shape or form a part of your identity. Personal life and professional life must be separate: I knew it before, and had learnt it the hard way the past few years. But now, I can even feel it deep inside.
These are my first thoughts to be shared with the world, and I hope they will enlighten some of you. Please take great care. ♡
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The English-speaking Frenchie 