I start with this: the present post is about a quite unpopular opinion, however realising this a while ago has saved me a lot of time and energy, thus I thought I would share this mindset shift with you.
The most enlightening way to start seems to be with an example. Let’s take the workplace for the sake of it. Looking efficient would mean, for instance, answering all emails almost straight away. However, your greater impact is probably not in answering all those emails, but in actually doing the core of your job (e.g., preparing this very important report). However, if you prepare the report in silence, you will most likely not look as efficient as if you are running everywhere – going nowhere (aka answering countless emails). Do you know that on average, we receive 100+ emails a day at work? Personally, I receive up to 200/day, ca. 80 of which require an ‘immediate answer’. There was a time when I answered them all, even if it required taking less time off work (…). I would like to do a full post on emails at work but here, I only need you to understand the perspective through the example.
This is clearly linked to the Eisenhower principle (one of my posts on the matter here): there are urgent things and important things. And no, not all urgent things are actually important. However, they will necessarily make you look super productive in front of others… while preventing you from engaging in these more important matters.
Still, on the email note, efficiency can take the shape of writing an email someone else will send. I am not telling you to have your work stolen, but depending on your job, efficiency can take this shape. If I take my own example, I am chief of staff and sometimes, me writing an email and the secretary general actually sending it improves the impact of the said email and thus, is more efficient. I accept to look less efficient gladly if the result is increased actual efficiency.
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This applies to the workplace of course, but not only. It applies to all areas of your life as sometimes, for instance, not posting about your daily morning routine on Instagram but rather spending that extra time focusing on your well-being is going to be the most efficient. What I am trying to say is not that you should not take pride in your accomplishments: this would be unhealthy. I am saying, however, that you absolutely need to come to terms with the need to always look efficient, as this is detrimental to both your mental health and your actual results. What is reflected in this is the need for validation. Do not get me wrong: we all have this need in different shapes and forms, and you are not to be judged for it. Nonetheless, if you want truly fulfilling experiences in life, you are to come to terms with this and slowly implement habits to feel it less. I do think that starting by questioning whether in some areas you are trying to look efficient or to be efficient is an interesting first step.
The English-speaking Frenchie 