This is one of those concepts that make us want to scream ‘Thank you, Captain Obvious, I am not stupid’, but we all need to read or hear from the outside to fully go back to it from time to time. At least, I am one of these people. As I was figuring out what I wanted to achieve in 2024, I realised that though my objectives, just like every year, fit into their own category, they also all were linked to one common overarching principle: self-respect. In 2024, what I want to prioritise is self-respect. Seen from the outside, this may look quite weird: I have a successful career, a fit body, and a healthy relationship with friends, family, and my significant other; why would I lack self-respect? Well, contrary to what most people tell you on the internet, I am afraid your achievements do not equal your level of self-respect. If achieving your goals is indeed a help, it is not magical either and won’t give you the respect you owe yourself. I have learned the hard way that this is something you need to grant yourself, and if my post may help one of you come to this realisation too, I will be the happiest.
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A true concept in all areas of life
Naturally, in the era of self-help and the glorification of self-confidence, it is a secret to nobody that self-respect is required. However, what you may not fully see is how you need it to be respected the way you deserve, or rather to establish and stick to the boundaries that make sense to you.
In the romantic sphere, this may be absolutely logical, as the saying ‘you can’t be loved if you do not love yourself’ is rather popular already. In the other spheres, however, this applies just as much, and the sphere I want to focus on today is your career. If you are globally curious about my take on self-esteem, however, you may be interested in this post.
And its application in the workplace
We may divide this section about work into two distinct parts: finding a job and being respected in the workplace
Finding a job
As you have understood probably, we are going from most evident to least intuitive with this. First, we have seen that self-respect is required in all areas of life and most naturally in the private sphere, and now let’s see how it applies to finding a job. The truth is that if you do not respect yourself, it is most likely because you do not esteem yourself or even less like yourself. Thus, you will keep not only attracting low-interest jobs, but actually applying to low-interest jobs. What applies to your love life applies to your career: if you do not think you are worth this or that type of man, you won’t go and talk to them. If you do not think you are worth this or that type of job, you won’t apply at all.
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The truth is actually that most job offers are tailored to attract people who are highly superior to the need at hand. Thus, in fact, having fewer qualifications in the offer is a good thing because more often than not, a perfect fit for all criteria will either not be interested (because the pay would for instance be too low for their resume) or be too good and thus frighten the employer, who would fear they would leave for a better opportunity quickly. However, applying for this type of job which seems high-profile or above your resume’s worth even though understanding the above-mentioned principle, is something you will try only if you respect yourself enough to know your worth. Thus, you need self-respect to dare to be the right candidate in the right place and time.
Being respected in the workplace
This is what has been enlightening me lately: getting a job is only the beginning of the journey. Actually, what is true in relationships is true in the workplace as well: you are treated with the respect you show for yourself. If I am being honest, I have always been a hard worker and a multipassionate person. Those of you who have been around for the past 10 years will know it already, and this will come as no surprise to anyone. I could go into much more detail in further posts on my different work experiences and what they have taught me, but for the sake of this post, let’s take only one example.
For a while, I have been taking no vacation for several months and no weekends, with around 60-hour work weeks. Does this seem healthy? It is not. However, these things come slowly, and you do not see the whole of it before you are knee-deep into it. And only a low amount of self-respect amounts to such results, as you would never accept such treatment if you thought you were worth better than this. However, if you suffer from a sort of impostor syndrome or feel the need to be validated in your work for any reason, you would virtually accept anything. This is not healthy. You do need self-respect to be able to place your boundaries and respect them.
Thus, please let me tell you (and tell me, as always) that you need self-respect to be respected. If not, you give out this desperate attitude that would have people think they can ask anything, and be sure you would accept (and you actually would). I am not here to give you countless pieces of advice as though there are applicable ways to avoid the situation, there are also very specific ways you can create a coping mechanism that fits your own life and needs. My objective today is to help open your eyes to the concept, so that hopefully you may avoid the pitfalls I have sometimes fallen into.
The English-speaking Frenchie 