Lots of things have power over our self-confidence. Things able to make us doublt are numerous, but I feel like one thing is far more terrible than the others. Criticism, mockery, shyness can be terrible, I am aware of this, but comparison has even worse effects. Indeed, mockery and criticism come from somobody else, whereas comparison only comes from yourself. That’s why ignoring criticism and mockery is easier (and not “easy”) than stopping comparison (and self doublt). Comparison is all around us and before we noticed, we are already caught in its vicious circle. Comparaison is a prison, once we get in, getting out of it is really hard. In fact, everything can lead to comparison. Women we see walking in the streets, magazines, adverts, social medias ( the worse of all, I think.), absolutely everything leads to it! You only have to open Instagram to start comparing yourself, it’s so easy! We are confronted evryday to the pictures of the “perfect” woman (At least, “perfect” in our society’s eyes), a woman whose photos have been edited and over-edited and who is maybe really unhappy but why bother : as soon as comparison starts, our ability to think twice vanishes. It is pretty extraordianry to see how hard it can get to see things as they are and not are they are shown. In the streets, the problem is the same : we see a woman we think is gorgeous and then we start comparing ourselves to the vision we have of her. That’s a big mistake. You are comparing two bodies, but you do not live this woman’s life. If we wanted to compare “fully”, we should compare our entire lives and not only our looks. That is the reason why no comparison can be “logical”, we can’t know everything about someone in order to compare “fully” : we are not even able to know our own self fully! Stopping this vicious circle is important, and we must do it IMMEDIATELY! I’ve already said it but I repeat it again : no comparison needs to be! We are all unique and there lies our strength. Be happy to be you because nobody could ever be you instead of you, this place is your own. This should help you destress : nobody can steal your life from you, you are the sole artist of a blank board, you own all the colours you can dream of in order to create the most beautiful painting than can be, the most beautiful life that can be. Nobody can steal it from you, don’t worry. The time you spend comparing is time you do not spend creating your own painting, the painting of your life, and that is so sad. Comparison makes you run in circles but brings you nowhere. Stop comparing, I know it is hard because one comparison follows the other and can even lead to the disgust of yourself and the desire of being somebody else, but this desire can only make you unhappy. You will never be somebody else, but if you stop comparing and start focusing on your life, then you can be a version of yourself that (finally) brings you happiness. It is never too late to focus on yourself and the moment is now. Get up, look at yourself in the mirror, smile at you, love yourself. It’s not that complicated, people are the ones who make simple things look complicated. C’est parti, apprenons à nous sentir magnifiques!
TABOULOT Camille
The English-speaking Frenchie 