Paradoxical title ? It is. But do you know what’s even more paradoxical ? This situation of doing what we love and to forget how much we loved it before we started feeling “forced” to do it. Still hard to undestand ? Let me give you my point of view on this subject. Earning money by getting up every morning to do something we love makes us incredibly lucky, but this luck can quickly turn into a trap of which escaping is really hard.
Indeed, studying things we love, things we are passionate about, having an active social life, an interesting job every friend you have envies a little are things that make your life look wonderful in other people’s eyes. This life seems wonderful, wonderfuly wonderful, but you feel an undescribable “weight”, like a “stone” in you chest that refuses to go away. You do not dare complaining because people would think “Oh, poor little girl, she has a dreamlife but doesn’t like her life.” You feel “forced” to be “happy” because you do not see why you wouldn’t be and you start feeling guilty for this “weight” in your chest. You do not feel “happy” but the true question that needs to be asked is “why ?” “Why am I not happy when I own all the things I dreamed of having a few months ago ?” Human beings are made of desire, what we desire the most is to desire and no matter the object of the desire. By reaching this object, your present life, you ceased desiring and you now feel empty, empty from every desire. The secret to your happiness would be, in my eyes, to continue desiring what you already have. Complicated ? Yes, and almost impossible. However, I don’t like the word “impossible”, so I encourage you to light again the
little big flame that lit your heart before, when you thought about this “dreamlife”. I think continuing to desire what we already have is possible, it is a complicated exercise, but it is worth our entire attention.
Nowadays, you feel “forced” to do what was before your way out of yout “boring” life. Let’s talk about a surf teacher : Then, he enjoyed surfing and surfed every night after work, in a view to chill. Today, he teaches surf and has to wake-up every morning to do it. He lives his passion, shouldn’t he be happy ? Well, no, not always. Sometimes, he feels sad because he is “forced” to do what was his passion before and a passion becoming an obligation is no more a real passion. Nevertheless, it’s no bad luck, it its possible to lit the flame, to lit again both the desire to live the life you are living now and the passion that made you vibrate when you did this activity that is now your job.
There is one thing you need to understand if you desire to feel “happy” inside this life which, apparently, sould make you “happy” : it is a choice. Being here is a choice. Living this life is a choice. Indeed, it today is your studies, your job, but it is still a choice. You chose these studies, you choses this job. Do you know what I like the most with choices ? They only come from the person who made them. What’s today an “obligation”, getting up and teaching surf, is an obligation only because you decided it was one. By understanding that your “obligation” is only due to you, and that you are still allowed to do somethingelse with your life, the feeling of being “forced to…” disappears and the desire comes back. Remember why you enjoyed surfing so much. Done ? You chose to teach surf in order to share the way surf made you feel and every morning, you have the possibility to feel it again, and again, and again. Your life doesn’t only look wonderful, it is. It is but you do not see it because you are so blinded by the idea that getting up every morning to do what you love is nothing more than an obligation ; it is not the case. You chose to live this life, you have desired it so much and you can continue desiring it. To do so, remember everyday the reasons why you desired to live this life so much and if need be, do not hesitate to write down these reasons. It is essential to keep being grateful for this life you are living, a life that is 0% obligation, 100% choice.
I truly hope this blogpost will help you understand that you are allowed not to feel “happy” every single day in this life other people envy so much. I hope you will understand that what you are feeling is totally possible to understand an that it is only temporary. In a few days, maybe a few weeks, you will feel again the flame that burnt inside when you did that activity and you will feel joy and gratitude again . You are not alone.