Spotting the Signs of Quiet Burnout

When I was a chief of staff, I experienced severe burnout, and after that, I thought I knew what “burnout was”. However, I did not understand then that burnout can take many shapes, and that you can actually experience it several times in your life without going through the exact same triggers and living the exact same symptoms.

1. On “chief of staff” burnout and legitimacy

During what we will call for the sake of this post my “chief of staff burnout”, I was overworking myself and had been for months, leaving the office at 9 pm regularly, sometimes later, and thinking about work constantly. However, I have since then been experiencing a whole different type of burnout, and this is precisely the one I would like to talk about as it is maybe much more difficult to notice.

When you suffer from the “chief of staff burnout” type, you go through very well-documented steps, and you can identify to a lot of the causes and symptoms that populate the internet. In a weirdly soothing way, you feel seen. When I left my job and its 60+ hours a week, I went through many hardships and have had a hard time recovering, especially in the area of self-esteem. However, I have felt understood, and I have given myself the permission to feel bad as, quite clearly, I had quantitative indicators to back up my feelings (e.g., extra hours, late times I got home, amount of travels per month, etc.) If I had to sum it up, I would say that at the time, I was feeling like I suffered from a form of “legitimate” burnout.

2. Spotting a “quiet” burnout

The “quiet” burnout, on the contrary, is hardly visible. Did I go through it because I was already weakened by the previous burnout? I do not think so. However, I think I have been able to notice it quickly because I had the experience of burnout and knew the physical signs in me. Many signs show that you are burnt out, and you need to know yours in order to identify situations before they go out of hand. In my specific case, the main signs are : intense fatigue in spite of a good amount of sleep, a decrease in self-esteem, more time spent on doing the same tasks, decision fatigue, quick feeling of overwhelm, constant complaining, constant pale skin, loss of memory. Some people suffer from weight gain/loss, hair loss, irritability, and many more symptoms; please talk to a professional if you think you may be suffering from burnout.

2.1 On feeling illegitimate

After a few months at my new company, I had a feeling that something was off and that I was getting more and more drained, though on paper I was doing extra hours but nothing to be compared to the “chief of staff” time. Naturally, at first, I thought I was suffering from the lasting effects of the previous burnout. Still, I rather soon realized that this was not the only factor of the burnout. There were clues all around me that the place was burnout-prone and I have been able to notice thanks to my previous experience.

However, at first, I have been extra hard on myself, as even if the workload was much too high for one person: i) colleagues were accepting such a workload too, creating a feeling of inadequacy and ii) I was not doing the same amount of hours as in the previous position. However, if your workload is much too high, and you are more or less able to have it fit into 40-45H/week, you are i) already 5 to 10H above the norm in France, just so you are aware, and ii) very efficient, which does not explain why you have to fit so much work in too little time in the first place.

2.2 Type of work vs. amount of work

You may add to these considerations the type of work you are doing, as I agree that some tasks are more emotionally driving and nourishing than others. As a student, I ran my business on the side and worked maybe even more hours than back when I was a chief of staff. However, I was 100% fulfilled and master of my own time, which suits my work-personality. You have to know what your work-personality is and act according to it as, if you do not, you open the door to burnout. This happened to me, as mindless tasks were taking the juice out of me much quicker than intellectually demanding tasks, thus leaving me unfulfilled.

3. Acknowledging burnout and feeling legitimate

I am not going to tell you how to cure burnout, because I am certain that you need to see a doctor and/or therapist, which is personally what I have done in the past. However, I can help you spot the burnout (if you are still reading this post, chances are you feel like you might suffer from it), with techniques that have nothing to do with asking yourself whether you do extra time. As we have just seen, this does not mean anything. A few years ago, I wrote this post dedicated to people who cannot take a leave for various reasons; I am still confirming that you absolutely should take one but if this may help in some situations, please have a look.

3.1 Do a general brain dump

First, do a general brain dump. This exercise is simple; you bring to paper anything that comes to mind, whether it is work-related or not. Usually, two things happen when you suffer from burnout: i) you write mostly about work and ii) the text’s tone is mostly negative. There is no good or bad way to do a brain dump, and no number of pages to get done. However, if this is an exercise you are interested in, I highly recommend doing it at night as it has been proven to help regulate your thoughts before sleep.

3.2 Note, on a given week, each time you complain about your job

I know, this is a hassle and if you know it already, chances are you are burnt out. Spoiler alert: we hear regularly that everyone hates their job, but this is not true. If you spend your time complaining about yours, chances are you are particularly suffering. A lot of people do not, indeed, “love” their job. However, most of them do not care enough either to “hate” it. They just go there, do the work, get home and there is nothing wrong in this lifestyle.

The problem occurs when you expect something from the job but do not get it and feel frustrated enough to complain about it several times a day. This is not normal, and the sooner you realize it, the better.

3.3 Note your feelings 3 times a day at work

This may be less of a hassle than the previous tip, though it is quite time-consuming as well and if you are in the “chief of staff” burnout situation, you may feel like you just have other fishes to fry. However, you could not be more wrong: you need to identify the depth of your burnout.

At work, take a piece of paper or a note, and write in the morning when you arrive, at noon, and in the afternoon (not night, right!) before you leave the office, how you are feeling and, if possible, why you should not be on the edge when you arrive in the morning, or 100% stressed out at noon, or frustrated at 5:30. If this is the case each and every day, I would bet there is an issue there that needs solving. Now!

3.4 Make a list of your fulfilling missions and how much time they represent in your workweek

This task is a little bit more for when you have a little bit of time ahead of you and clear headspace. I want you to write all the tasks that you do on a regular basis in your job, and highlight the ones that are fulfilling. Then, estimate what percentage of your realistic week these fulfilling tasks take. If the percentage is inferior to 50% of your time, there is a real issue to be tackled there.

3.5 Do a self-esteem list

Some of you might not agree with this one, because these people think they have actually never had any self-esteem and this job is not responsible for it. However, I would like to ask everyone to do it as many people have even forgotten that they used to have much more self-esteem in the past.

Take a piece of paper, and write your portfolio of proof. This basically consists of all the things you have ever done, personally and professionally, that you can be proud of and that you can review regularly when feeling down to prove to yourself that “you can do it”. The exercise is simple: we all have something to write in our portfolio of prof, especially if we are a member of the workplace. If you find close to noting to write in yours, then there might be a problem: i) your job may not give you enough room to improve or ii) you may be so gripped by burnout that you re not able to see yourself and your skills clearly anymore.

Finally, aside from burnout, please talk to someone if you have a feeling that your workplace is toxic. There can be burnout in non-toxic spaces which are simply not a fit for your work-personality. However, if the place seems to be toxic per se, talk to a doctor and warn them ASAP of the dangers on your mental health.