I do not know about you but Christmas time is usually the time of the year I tend to compare myself to others most. Why so? Because I work almost all the time between finals & my job at a supermarket. On the other side, I see a lot of people looking their best because they are getting ready for Christmas. While I feel happy for them, I can’t help thinking that it would be super great to have time to do so. But December is my super productive month, while it is other people’s lazy moth & I know it. I learnt to be fine with it, let me show you how.
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I am pretty sure I am not the only one to do so: whether it is that you do not have enough money to pay for expensive gifts (I know that gifts are really important during Christmas for some of you, for your children for instance), or that you feel less put together than other women who glow up astonishingly in this period, you may be prone to comparison. Here is what you can do to stop this bad habit you have, & live a healthy relationship with yourself this month.
Remember that we all shine when it is our time to.
This is quite self-explanatory. Maybe you are right, & maybe this woman looks awesome:
- It does not prevent you from looking awesome as well.
- Maybe you are not feeling your best right, but when you will be at that party tonight, you will.
- Maybe you just do not have to care . You can appreciate someone else’s beauty without questioning your own (I read that somewhere a while ago & I can’t get it out of my head, it is such a powerful statement!)
Be happy for others, & kind with yourself. You will shine when it is time for you to shine, & if you are happy with who you are, you will shine permanently, believe me.
Remember it is okay not to feel okay in December.
There seems to be extra pressure on ourselves in December as everyone looks so happy. Nonetheless, you do not have to put this pressure on yourself & to look happy all the time. It is neither healthy nor possible. Simply allow yourself to feel your feelings, to feel bad if you do, & you will soon feel so much better. Do not hide yourself form yourself, you do not have to enjoy the moth of December if you do not.
Allow yourself a bath & a crazy night routine if you feel like it.
Maybe your month is as hectic as mine, but that does not mean you can neglect yourself. You are your biggest ally in life, both physically & mentally, so always take great care of yourself. If you feel that you seem to compare more to others, to complain more than usual or simply to feel down while everyone is so joyful, if you feel out of place, stop. Stop everything you are doing & take one night for yourself. Not for your work, not for your to-do list, not for your children. For YOU. You will see that even if it is hard to slow down, it is all worth it in the end.
Remember that nobody is you & that comparison has no reason to exist.
If comparison is your main problem, take a moment & think this statement over: “nobody is you, that is your strength”. It sounds cliché, but that can help a lot when it comes to compulsive comparison. Nobody is you, you are unique & thus, why comparing? You would not compare a flower & a book, right? Why? Because they are absolutely different, have different purposes & different senses of beauty & aesthetic. Then, why comparing two human beings together? They are different, have different life purposes & different senses of beauty as well. There is no reason to compare because there are no things to compare to each other in the first place. You can’t compare what is too different, & every single human being is so, so, so different form others.
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Each time you catch yourself comparing to others, tell yourself one kind thing about yourself.
It can be really hard, I am not going to lie. Why is it that hard? Because it implies catching yourself comparing in the first place & most people aren’t aware that they are. It is hard to be aware that you are doing something that implies that you are not mindful, as being aware of something implies mindfulness in the first place.
Nonetheless, by training yourself, you can catch yourself & notice this pattern in your life. When you do, think about one thing you love about yourself. Do not tell me you love nothing, I won’t believe you. If you truly think that you love nothing about yourself, look harder. H-A-R-D-E-R. Eventually, you will find something. With time, it becomes easier, & with even more time, it becomes a habit.
In a few weeks, you will notice that you stopped comparing altogether & that you also implemented positive self-talk into your life. Is not it magical?
I really hope this post helped you see that feeling down is totally okay, & that there is always a way (& so many more) to feel better. I know that this time of the year can be challenging for so many reason, & even more because we feel stupid for feeling bad in such a “joyful” time. But your feelings are legit, & you are allowed to look after yourself.
Take great care,