(That post is the second part of the short series entitled “10 Habits That Ruin Your Elegance”. If you are interested in the first part, click here and come back later. ♡)
Last month, I shared with you 5 things that, according to me, are ruining the efforts you make to be and feel more elegant. You may wear the most beautiful dress and the most appropriate shoes, if your behavior does not go with your outfit (or, I’d rather say, the outfit must go with the behavior because your behavior is the most important point in achieving elegance), your efforts are immediately ruined. Thus, I would like to share with you 5 more things that you may do without necessarily noticing it and that are secretly ruining your efforts. I know you do not want to be your own enemy, so here are 5 things you need to look for (and suppress) in your behavior in order to achieves the level of elegance you want in your life.
That one is really huge. I am not asking you to whisper all the time, but an elegant lady does not want her neighbors to hear what she is saying when she is in her garden. I have met quite a lot of people who talked far too loudly as I work every week-end in a supermarket. I have talked with a lot of clients in two years and thus, talked with a wide variety of people. I can tell you that each and every time I talk with someone who speaks really loudly (without any reason), I can’t help feeling bad. It is almost as if the person was being rude even though they are actually saying something kind or neutral.
You need to make sure you are being heard, but I think that the best tip would be to imagine you are in a bubble with the person(s) you are talking with. If people outside of this imaginary bubble can hear you, then you want to gently decrease the volume of your voice. It will not only make you appear more elegant, but it will also make you appear more confident and the people you are talking with will feel more at ease with you.
You may also like: 10 Habits That Ruin Your Elegance. ♡ Part 1
Does that need more explanation? Kindness is a very elegant attribute, and, more than that, it is by showing kindness to to others that you show the kind of person you are. When you are mean to somebody, whether it is directly or indirectly (by gossiping about that person for instance), you are showing that you are an awful person, and that is really unelegant.
Talking before your think.
That can have two meanings:
♡ Saying something you did not mean to. That could be something silly, something particularly mean &c.
♡ Making a “weird” sound when you are surprised, or a loud “WHATTTTTT!?”.
Of course, I am not telling you not to be surprised (it is impossible!) or not to be spontaneous, but depending on the context, you need to make sure you are not saying things that may have a negative effect on your image.
Eating before you have been invited to do so.
Of course, that does not apply to your home or really close relatives but when you are invited at someone’s place, whether it is someone you have never met before or someone you met at work, make sure you are “on the same page”.
Obviously, not everyone has been raised the same way, and some people just do not care who starts eating, but other people may be shocked that you eat before you have been invited to by your host.
TIP: If your host does not invite you to eat, still wait until they started eating themselves before you start.
I know, it can all sound really silly, but these are little etiquette mistakes than can cost you a lot depending ont the context.
TIP: In general, always assume that the people you are with have been raised differently than you and wait for them to show that education to you before taking initiatives in their presence.
What is name dropping? Basically, it is using names of famous people in a conversation in order to look like you have a great network and know a lot of “important people”. A “famous person” is not necessarily Rihanna, but is is someone that has a great role in your industry.
For instance, let’s say you are invited at a work-event and you work for a publishing, and let’s say your publishing house is actually specialized in books destined to teenagers. Name dropping would be talking about J.K Rowling, even if you had already met her twice, and act as if you had lunch with her every Monday. J.K Rowling is still really famous, but dropping the name of an author only publishers know about but that is still really hype would be just as bad for your image.
Name dropping is really bad habit, especially when it comes to work and what we call high-society. Never talk about someone if you have not been asked about that person, and even id that happens, be as vague as possible. You do not want to look like someone who places money and networking above human values.
I hope you liked these tips and took something out of today’s post. These habits were more related to the way we talk and act as far as work is concerned, but they really apply to everything in life.
I would say that elegance comes from two main things: knowing basic etiquette rules (e.g. eating when you have been invited to) and not trying too hard (e.g. name dropping). Once you have mastered these two, it all becomes really easy.
I wish you the best of days,