I talked lately about the 8 things that are not worth your money and today, I thought I would talk about things are definitely not worth your time as it is an even more important resource than money in my opinion.
Arguing with someone who is not ready to listen.
You just feel it, right? Sometime, you try to discuss a topic with a friend or an almost complete stranger, and that person seems so trapped in their own way of thinking that they do not even seem to be listening to you. When that happens, just smile and move on. You can’t have a great, eye-opening conversation with someone who speaks and does not listen.
Trying to maintain a relationship that is bad for you.
When I say “bad”, I do not only refer to really “bad” and unhealthy relationships but also to relationships (with friends, a significant other &c.) that just do not bring anything positive into your life. Some people are wonderful, but they just do not “fit” into your life. People change through time and that person you were really friends with five years from now may just have become a totally different person and that is fine. There are relationships that are just not meant to be, or to remain.
Do I need to give more details? We all engage into that terrible thing at one point or another, but quitting that is up to us. I mean, gossiping is not only hurting someone out there (you may not tell them directly that thing but, believe me, some day they will know and that will probably kill them inside), it is hurting you. Why is it hurting you? Because it is hurting your reputation and, in the end, your own self-esteem. As they say, gossiping says so much more about yourself (not confident, sad, jealous &c.) than about the person you are gossiping about.
It is just like gossiping in the sense that we more or less all do that from time to time and the goal is not to be hard on ourselves. We want to become better persons. However, it is an unhealthy habit we can learn to control. First, try to discover your “trigger” (for instance, your trigger can be the feeling of not being pretty enough each time you see yourself in a mirror) and then, try to change the way your respond to this trigger (for instance, each time you see a mirror, catch yourself comparing and, instead, look only at the one thing – or more – you love about your face). I know, it is so hard in the beginning but with time and practice, it will become easier and easier. You will see more and more things you love about yourself and thinking about these things will be more and more natural.
Trying to change somebody else.
It just never works. Even if the person actually changes, it either means that it won’t be forever, or that the change came from them and not form you. If YOU are the one trying to establish a change in someone, it won’t work, I am sorry. You can’t control other people, even if you love them so deeply that it hurts, but what you can do is control yourself and be honest with yourself. Do you really love that person the way they are? Can YOU bend (not change, you can’t change for someone if you do not feel the need to change deep inside either, it is not healthy) a little for them? If yes, focus on THAT, focus on YOUR growth, not on theirs.
A degree you hate.
If you hate that degree, chances are you will never love the jobs that come with it. As we spend os much time at work, you will probably never really enjoy your life. Sorry, it was violent, but it is true. I was once following a career path that was not right for me and changing just changed my life for the best! Do the same for yourself and if you feel like that paragraph hits you hard, maybe YOU are the person I wrote it for. Make sure you love what you study, there is so much more things to study that it will be a giant loss of time, not to follow the path that makes you happy.
It is just like comparing: we all do that form time to time. It is even very pleasing to complain at times, but only if it is not every single day, 100 times a day. Create a habit of noticing that you complain before it becomes second nature (it can easily become second nature and we do not even see anymore that it is not a healthy way of living our life). Noticing that you have that habit is the hardest point, stopping yourself form complaining will come rather naturally when you see how much you can complain in a day. You will be so bothered with your own complaining-self that you will change naturally.
Tying to please other people.
If these people do not naturally like you today, they probably never will, and you do not have to care. There are so many people that are right for you out there that these people who do not genuinely like you are not worth your time. Moreover, if they are not naturally meant to be in your life, even if you change who you are (or try to), you will never really be like them or liked by them. You can’t act like someone you are not and look (or feel) natural, life just does not happen that way.
I hope that post was helpful and I hope I have not been too “violent” through my words. I need to write things clearly if I want theses words to have a positive impact on you, but my main goal is to have you feel motivated and great after reading my posts. What about you, what is the things that is not worth your time and energy in your opinion?